I feel like I should get a few stories written down before other stories push these out of my brain. (a brain is like a cup, not a sponge)
Stu's Shoes
The setting; Its January 2009 in a cold cold cold (-40 degrees Fahrenheit with wind chill a couple of times) Chicago, IL. I've been here 1 month, scrambling for residence with Max. We've got about a day to get out of our current situation, which is sharing a bed in a 3 BR apartment with a couple of nice young ladies who have quickly grown sick of us.
After a bit of Clisting housing opportunities I find something perfect for us. A dude by the name of Stu (I kept hoping he'd look exactly like Stu from the life and times of tim) was leaving to go out of country for a month and was subletting his room which had a bunk bed, which was ideal since Rex and I were on a serious budget. Well, we meet up with him, give him some cash, get the key and the emails of his roomates. I get a hold of his roomies, who, as it turns out, had NO IDEA that Stu was leaving, let along subletting his room to TWO random strangers. So, they were mad. We eventually get situated, and it turns out to be fun, the two guys in the apartment don't seem to appreciate us being there too much, but they were good sports about it. The rest of the month goes fairly well, as I crush poker online and Max works hard at the school Thats not what this tale is about though.
At this juncture in my life I was wearing a pretty fucking ugly pair of shoes. I'm not the most fashionable guy, and I'm certainly cheap, but this was bad even for me. I forgot to mention, Stu's room was not clean when we arrived, it was not even tidied. This, I felt, gave me a little more liberty in wearing Stu's things.... I notice these sweet hipster swede (or something) Nike low top shoes. They look pretty damned new. And so, I wear them. Every single day. Through the blackened and muddy snow. Across town in said -40 degree winds. I wear them on sticky disgusting train rides, I wear them everywhere.
Fast forward a few weeks. Stu is due, soon. He shows up early, he alerts us that he'll be staying with his girlfriend for a few days while Max and I finish up our agreed upon month in his sloppy bedroom. He's come back to collect some of his belongings, including, you guessed it, his shoes. He is franticly looking for his shoes. I'm "helping" him look for them. What I'm actually doing is rehiding them 2 or 3 times as he moves from room to room, corner to corner, looking underneath and around every nook. He's saying things like "I need those shoes! My girlfriend bought them for me right before I left on my trip!" bla bla bla. So, he grudgingly leaves shoeless. Shoeless Stu frantic. Its our last evening in the apartment and Max and I, and one our roommates, Jack, are all taking shots and smoking a little whacky tobacky. Jack got along with us better than our other roommate, he'd joined us a couple of times before for some light libations, but this evening he was into it a little more. He and Max were standing in the kitchen while I did the stu shoe hide'n'shuffle. I debate relating the story to him, and eventually decide to. He dies laughing. It was good.
So, the entire month I was thinking about if I would steal this shoes. After this whole thing happened I knew that I could not. As best I could I cleaned up the kicks, and hid them in the back of his closet. Silly Stu, always misplacing his shoes.
Keycoat is for another day.

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